Two weeks ago, I took my Jack Russel Spike to the vet for a dental extraction. He lives up to his name as he is quite snappy and so visits to the vet involve a muzzle. The vet had to sedate Spike to examine his mouth. After a shot with the injection, I held Spike in the waiting room for him to doze off.
Suddenly, he started foaming at the mouth, hyperventilating, and drooping in my arms. I placed Spike on the floor, with his legs sprawled entirely out and his tongue hung from the side of his mouth. Thinking something did not seem right, my Dad called a nurse who was walking past. She immediately rushed to Spike, picked him up, and carried him into the operating room. I could see the Doctor requesting an oxygen device through the window as the staff looked to see what was wrong with him.
I could not help but start tearing up and feeling overwhelmed with emotion. I had to walk outside and try to compose myself. I guess it was the emotion of losing my best friend in that same veterinary hospital six years ago. She was 18 years old when we had to put her down. I had grown up with her since a puppy, from the time I was in grade 1, and she stayed by my side until halfway through my post-graduate studies. Now the unexpected sight of Spike lifeless on the operating bed overwhelmed me with heartbreaking emotion. As I recalled that final glance into my best friend's eyes, as I had bid her farewell through blurry tear-filled eyes.
Waiting eagerly to see what was happening, the Doctor came out with a smile on her face. She then explained that the nurse never realised Spike had been sedated and panicked, rushing him into the theatre room. The good news came as a significant relief. It was when I got home only that the tears I had been trying to hold back burst through the flood gates of my tear ducts (an infrequent occasion).
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| Spike on a rainy day, 18 January 2013. |
Now, my perplexed wife was surprised to find me returning home in an emotional state from a simple visit to the vet. While intermittently trying to explain the story through the sobs, I eventually let it all out. I explained to Cassandra that I felt as if I had been emptied after crying, but not empty in a bad sense. Instead, I felt so cleansed and free, as if a weight I had been carrying was suddenly lifted through the simple action of crying.
As a man, it is not easy for us to share our vulnerability of emotion with people. However, I felt this incident was significant, as it made me realise something vital. Later in the day, it dawned on me that the only other time I ever experienced a similar feeling was after the Sacrament of Confession.
Sifting through some online medical articles. A few suggest that shedding emotional tears releases chemicals, which help people feel good and ease physical and emotional pain. If simply shedding a tear or two is so powerful, imagine what Confession does for the body and soul?
I am sure many Catholics may have been caught off guard at one point or another, scrambling to pinpoint where exactly Confession comes from in the Bible? Well, considering Jesus Christ became man, he witnessed first-hand the struggle or tendency of those around him to sin. For example, take the time when the disciples came to Jesus, debating "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?". If Our Lord's dearest followers, despite being so close to God Himself, could not shrug off that inclination to sin, we are no different. As a consequence, Jesus Christ instituted the Sacrament of Confession. Confession then aims to convert, through the Holy Spirit's action, us, the baptised who find ourselves separated from Him by sin (John 20:22-23).
Similar to how physical or emotional pain evokes the need to cry to free us of the pain. Confession does the same but to the entire person (that is, body and soul). However, inadequate preparation is likely to result in an insufficient Confession. Possibly, leaving you feeling like the Sacrament is just some random exchanging of words with some Priest. It starts with recognising that we are all inclined to sin. Think about a lousy shop owner who never bothers to tally up the daily sales and expenses; come year-end, it may come as a surprise to find out that all this time, the shop was running at a loss. Our day-to-day life is no different. A day does not go by without some things going well or somethings not going so well. It is our human nature!
A good confession requires three simple ingredients:
- A careful examination of conscience.
- Sincerely confessing your sins to a Priest.
- Fulfilling the satisfaction of God forgiving your sins by carrying out with love your penance to repair the damage caused by sin.
Let us quickly unpack what this means. The Confession starts with an adequate examination of conscience. It is humanly impossible to remember all your sins since your last Confession by only preparing five minutes before Confession. Many Saints have shown that keeping a daily tally (or examination) before bed may help us prepare for Confession. The review helps with looking back over the past day, with the following in mind:
- Thinking about the things you did well that day,
- Thinking about the things that you never did that well, and
- Resolving to do better the next day.
The practice of carrying out a daily examination of conscience with time will help us grow closer to God. The result of a daily tally of only three minutes before bed could make that five-minute scram in the confessional line a lot less stressful (phew). An added benefit of reflecting daily on our inner life will also help us avoid making the same mistakes repeatedly.
Next, if we go into the confessional with the realisation that the Priest is only a channel between God and us. This will help us sincerely let all our burdens go, without concern for what the Priest will think about my sins. In due time, Confession starts to become an action of emptying ourselves, freeing us of the chains of sin, and leaving us feeling one with God. Now, in exchange for God forgiving our omissions, it will awaken in us a desire to make things right. Perhaps, overflow with love to those around us in acts of charity. That feeling of being free is then the effect of the Sacrament of Confession within our souls. The Sacrament's result is peace, the serenity of conscience and spiritual consolation, and an increase of spiritual strength for the struggle of Christian living (Catechism Compendium, 310).
The Sacrament of Confession allows us to reset or restart every time we mess up, essentially avoiding a situation where our failings tend to hold us back. It is the start of a New Year. That means New Year resolutions. Perhaps for some of us, by the time we hit March, we might have already forgotten about our list of resolutions. For some of us, things will get in the way and make it difficult to maintain the habit, dropping the resolution altogether. I can attest to encountering the benefit of regular Confession. If you have not thought of a New Year's resolution. Then I challenge you to consider making use of the Sacrament more regularly, consistently, and intensely this year?
As the Jewish proverb goes, "What soap is to the body, tears are to the soul."
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