Have you ever had a dream which created some panic? A while back I was having a consistent dream that I would return to school and in my dream I was never studying for the subjects or attending the class and it would make me worry that I would sit in the exam and know nothing. Now, this is a random dream and it has been years since I was in school but in the subconscious of dreamland I was going to sit in the exam, know nothing and then fail the exam. Now imagine for a moment you wake up and that dream becomes a reality. I think that is how Adam and Eve may have felt when they had committed the first or original sin.
 |
| Satan and the Beast of the Sea, by Jean Bondol and Nicholas Bataille |
"Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked: and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves aprons... 'I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself" (Gen 3:7,10)
The devil's lie was an empty promise. The serpent said to the woman, "You will not die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." (Gen 3:4-5). When Adam and Eve woke from the bad dream their reality was now the dream itself. Something was off. Adam saw Eve with different eyes and Eve could feel that Adam no longer saw her the same way.
There was now a tension within them that we all feel and the fancy word for it is concupiscence. Concupisence is the strong inclination toward sexual sin. They remembered how things were originally when all was good but now they also had a pull to what was evil. The fruit they ate gave them a power that now seemed unwanted as it could be used for the wrong purpose. They covered up with fig leaves not because they were ashamed of their bodies but because of concupiscence (TOB 28:5).
The reaction of shame was a wall that Adam and Eve put up to protect themselves from being used as sexual objects. So deep inside they knew their value and tried at all costs to safeguard that but now it was far too easy to forget about the spirit and rather use the body for play and pleasure.
The fall which stained us with original sin is a reminder of how humanity (seen as the bride) rejects God (portrayed as the bridegroom) every time we sin. When we choose to deny God's generosity and take the role of bridegroom into our own hands our world is bound to come crumbling down. Revelations speaks of the devil as a fierce red dragon "His tail swept down a third of the stars of heaven, and cast them to the earth. And the dragon stood before the woman who was about to bear a child, that he might devour her child when she brought it forth..." (Revelation 12:4)
When we think of how many babies are lost through the use of all forms of contraception or when a child is conceived the devil can horrifically tempt the parents to abort the unwanted child. The imagery of the dragon of revelations which is so graphic of a beautiful baby coming forth from its Mother only to be eaten by the dragon is telling. The dragon who tempted Adam and Eve uses the same strategy to tempt us to pretend to be like God and take actions into our own hands. The devil promises humanity the power of God: "Why not make this sexual act contraceptive?" or "Why not abort? It is a mother's right to choose after all." The devil always lies! We know that because when we listen to lies, we are left feeling empty realising we can never be God. When we feel remorse and shame, he then comes along to rub the distaste of regret and guilt into our faces making us fall again as if we are weak and incapable of overcoming concupiscence.
The real mastermind behind all sexual sin is the devil and the serpent lurkes around waiting to devour the offspring of what God created beautiful. When concupiscence controls a man or woman we are left with the consequences of broken marriages torn apart by adultery and unfaithfulness towards a spouse, selfish attitudes about children, and graphic pornography entering into everyday films, series and advertising. Concupiscence can drive us to do bad things when we are willing to sacrifice others for our own selfish motives. There is no irony that the first awareness of the original sin was through the body and a direct attack on our sexuality.
St John Paul II explains that man as protector has the responsibility of safeguarding the giving and receiving of the gift of each other and in doing so maintains its true balance. The man can choose to love or use which is why the evils of rape, sexual abuse, lusting and degrading are generally more associated with men. That should not be confused with saying men are all bad, but rather when we realise that God gave Adam the responsibility of protecting creation (which included his spouse, Eve) he can easily exploit that responsibility by hurting his spouse as she was created to receive his gift. When a man chooses to use his spouse she cannot receive and may reciprocate by using him back ultimately leading to her taking on the role of the giver. A practical way to see what happens when man misuses the gift God gave him is the rise of homosexuality and gender confusion. Terrible acts of using others through sexual abuse can disorder what God created. Little children can grow up abused confusing their understanding of the role of a man or woman and then grow up confused and resenting their natural God-given gift. Again the devil is in the detail feeding us the rotten fruit of lies.
Now we have the disorder of concupiscence within all of us and so learning to love as it was in the beginning is a lifelong journey. None of us are going to get this right without tempering our minds, body and souls. If we have disordered our natural gift of being a giver or receiver that is a man or woman, over time we can restore this order.
"If we are mild, humble, compassionate, clean of heart and peace-loving; if when injured we don't return injury for injury but rejoice, we will attract those who see us, no less than we would by miracles ... We will lead those who sit in darkness unto the life of heaven." (St John Chrysostom)
The word "respect" comes from Latin, "Re" meaning "back" and "specere" meaning "look at". This is actually quite profound because to see anyone for who God created them to be requires us to go back to the beginning and see them in God's image and likeness. It's easier said than done, but not impossible.
Overcoming concupiscence is a trial that will remain lifelong and vary from person to person. Someone may find gossip second nature, another may find losing their temper almost instantaneous, while another may struggle with lustful impulses. Concupiscence is part of our humanity but it is different from breathing which forms part of our existence, when we stop breathing we die. With concupiscence, if we try at all costs to control it, we love eternally.
So how can we try to practically overcome concupiscence? In an interesting video "Is it possible to fall in love again?" the speaker talks about the common ways to avoid marriage breakdowns. I think these tools can be used generally and in the case of finding ways to overcome concupiscence:
1. Self-containment - if we are surrounded by disorder it is often difficult to focus and concentrate. Sometimes tidying our desks is all we need to properly focus on a tough task at hand. In our interior life (our spiritual life) it is no different. We need to make an effort to acquire human virtues. The universal Saint known for discovering holiness in ordinary circumstances (St Josemaria) said that human virtues, when supernaturalised enable us to practise the theological virtues and to receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit with greater docility.
For example, maybe you really love two sugars in your coffee but you deny yourself that pleasure and opt for half a teaspoon or none. A human virtue could be looking after your health to avoid taking in excessive sugar. However, if we can supernaturalise denying ourselves a small pleasure like no sugar sometimes for some intention like the person who asked you to pray for them the other day or to say sorry for the times you ignored God etc is that not greater than the health benefit?! The point is that taking something human and raising it to the supernatural level results in growing in theological virtue (faith, hope and charity) that is we grow in the virtue of charity and generosity which helps us live chastity better.
2. Ask for forgiveness and rebuild again - anyone living in a family or with people gets to practice this every day. We all find ourselves getting annoyed with what in our minds we deem "defects" in those around us, which can lead us to make snap judgements. We know we hurt the other when we do that and often it can feel rather impulsive as if something within you did it, maybe a reminder of concupiscence. However, it is what we do with that snap judgment that matters. We can ignore it and leave the other person feeling hurt or we can say sorry and give them a hug. It's easier said than done and again we will probably spend our whole lives doing this over and over again but saying sorry and beginning again restores the disorder with those around us and leads to healing for ourselves.
3. Make a commitment to try never do it again - Our greatest example of falling and getting up again and trying once more is from Our Lord. On the road to Calvary, He fell three times and in falling received help from Simeon passing by who helped him carry the heavy load. To fight the disorder of concupiscence we need help and a spirit of determination.
"To redirect the forces disrupted by original sin, to acquire and consolidate the human virtues, we need to embark upon a laborious campaign of formation. For no virtue is acquired without effort." (Second Vatican Council)
Formation of the mind, body and soul is what a baking tray is to muffin dough. The muffin tray gives the runny and sticky dough a form when exerted under extreme heat, so that when we remove the muffin it holds its shape and form.
4. We make up for 1 bad interaction with the correction of 5 positive interactions - our wrong deeds can cause a lot of harm and to undo it requires great love. Why can't we just do 1 good deed to make up for our bad deed. Nothing stops us but that becomes 'an eye for an eye or a tooth for a tooth' attitude. If we wish to truly undo our actions the more we try to make up for it the less likely we are to do it again. The repetition of love is an effective habit to counter the habit of concupiscence or general sin.
If we ingest a half glass of poison it probably takes litres and litres of water to flush the poison out of our system and cleansing concupiscence is no different.
5. Patience and perseverance - The Second Vatican Council teaches that sin brought man to a lower state, forcing him away from the completeness that is his to attain. God asks us to be faithful and obedient to Him. We then need to realise that when we make the effort God will grant us the graces to persevere and grow in holiness. However, we need to be patient and "... pray that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:41) and "... Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words." (Romans 8:26).
We will one day come to the end of life as we know it. We will have an opportunity to enter Life eternal. However, we want to make sure when that day arrives it is a blissful dream to meet God. When that day comes we want to know we tried our very best to know God while on earth and that we left a positive impression on people around us. We need to make things right with God to not be caught wanting. Otherwise, we will wake up from a nightmare realising we wasted away a life on earth that passes like the blink of an eye spending unwanted time in eternity making things right in purgatory.
St. Joseph patron Saint of a happy death, pray for us.
Do you know of a friend who could be interested in reading this blog? Please feel free to share the link with them.
Comments