OUR IDENTITY IS WRITTEN INTO OUR HEARTS!

The long weekends are great opportunities for family time. We had a good family reunion among my niece, my cousin's son and daughter, and my son. They range from 4 years to 8 months old. Watching little children play is a lesson on the creation story we read about in Genesis. Little girls have such a distinct and inherent desire toward motherhood imprinted in their bodies and souls (their entire person). 

Layla and Micaela, March 2021

Layla (my niece is about 20 months old) often cradles her baby dolls around in her arms. She tries to feed Noah (my 9-month-old son) with the bottle from her dolls, or she strokes his head as if she is reassuring him that he is alright. My cousin Melissa has a daughter just under three years old, Micaela. Outside in the garden, she played a doctor's role with her toy stethoscope, examining her far removed cousin's health. Noah was only interested in the wheels on his fire truck and striking it with his toy hammer. Melissa's eldest son, Giancarlo, practiced hitting a soccer ball at me, his convenient goalkeeper. He kept me on my toes with his powerful left foot for a mere four-year-old. Children are fascinating.

When God created us, he put all of creation in the hands of man. We are responsible for naming the animals and tilling the land. We are given the responsibility to take care of the earth. Despite this noble task's enormity, man still felt an emptiness, as if something was incomplete. God then created man a companion that would complete him fully, and she was called Woman (Genesis, 2:20-23). The innocence of a child teaches us that God created us in his image and likeness. My niece was not taught to care for her dolls or her younger cousin. She does it so naturally, so beautifully, and in a way that completes the existence of man. Women have a natural ability to care for those around them. She was created to fill the longing man experienced in his heart at the beginning of creation and well before the world was corrupted by original sin.

Men can be good fathers, but we need to actively try to have a caring nature. I have noticed that when Noah cries, I can try to soothe him and talk gentle words into his ears, and with a lot of soothing, he will eventually calm down. But, if he cries and sees his Mommy, she puts her arms out to him and is attracted like a magnet. As she holds him, the warm and loving embrace of her touch around his tiny body is enough to make him feel safe. That is a mother's touch! Today, a friendly and embracing hug from our moms still brings back those childhood memories of comfort and love. A genuine hug reminds us of our parents' generosity and openness to life by bringing us into this world from our very first breath on this earth. 

"The family is the original cell of social life. It is the natural society in which husband and wife are called to give themselves in love and in the gift of life. The family is the community in which, from childhood, one can learn moral values, begin to honour God, and make good use of freedom. Family life is an initiation into life in society." (CCC, 2207) 

A mother and father can never be substituted. They are the nucleus of society. When that nucleus is broken, it leaves a community, city, country, and world in confusion. Morals begin to fade. We begin to seek false freedom in things that actually trap us in a snare. Statistics South Africa show that many children in South Africa grow up in a home without a father (and in some cases with no parents at all, most likely with their grandparents): 

• About 1 in 10 children live only with their fathers. 
• While 2 in 10 children do not live with either of their parents. 
• Only 3 in 10 children live with both parents. 
• Sadly, 4 in 10 children live only with their mothers. 

Crime, rape, gender-based violence, unemployment, and corruption are common in South Africa because the home (the foundation of little children's conscience, character, and personality) is in trouble. No child grows up wanting to be a criminal. There is always a story behind the most hardened prisoner and unfortunate circumstances that shape an innocent soul into what society deems a "monster." 

On the other hand, some children grow up with both parents. Still, the father (and sometimes even mothers) portrayal of fatherhood (or motherhood) scares children. Think of an aggressive father, verbally abusive to his wife, and does not respect his children's freedom and preferences for music, art, or creativity. That child grows up with a warped idea of marriage and will seek false freedom in a plan contrary to the plan God had for us from the beginning. The world is quite effective at painting this false freedom as attractive and redeeming. However, the incompleteness and emptiness that man felt, in the beginning, will remain all his life. That is why God created Woman, the most perfect partner suitable to complete him. Only then was the man satisfied. 

Moms and their little ones

When God created the flowers, he did so with a purpose. A plant gives us a beautiful flower to appreciate that can inspire us and make our homes look beautiful, but it is more than that. Bees use flowers to pollinate. A bee collects nectar and pollen from the flower of a plant. Some pollen from the stamens—the flower's male reproductive organ—sticks to her body's hairs. When she visits the next flower, some of this pollen is rubbed off onto the stigma or tip of the pistil—the flower's female reproductive organ. When this happens, fertilisation is possible, and a fruit, carrying seeds, can develop (Canada Agriculture and Food Museum). 

Complementarity is imprinted into nature, and nature shows us that everything is created for giving and receiving. If God created flowers and bees (that have no souls) to cooperate with each other in the co-creation of new life. Imagine the complexity with which each soul on earth is created by God in his image and likeness. God has created us: 

1. Unique (there is only one person like you in the world), 
2. Unrepeatable (no scientist can replicate you), 
3. Indispensable (your existence is necessary for the presence of others, both physically and emotionally), and
4. Imprinted with an identity of male and female in their hearts. 

"Open your minds and hearts to the beauty of all that God has made and to His special, personal love for each one of you." (St. John Paul II)

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